A “quick note” on SCBU and the like
April 7th, 2008Right - it says quick but it isn’t.
Amanda gave birth to Ruby Louise Doyle at 1.10am on 4th April. Ruby weighed 6lbs 7oz. The birth was pretty traumatic for Amanda (highlights include an Epidural that didn’t work properly and whatnot). As soon as Ruby was born she was making this distressed grunting sound was wouldn’t feed. Her little chest was working overtime as she was trying to breathe properly.
So much has happened in the last three days it is all a blur. Once she was born she was put into an incubator in order to raise her temperature and to try and help with her breathing. She seemed a bit settled so at around 6am I came home for a little rest (by this point we’d both been awake for almost 2 days straight). At around 9:30am I got a call from Amanda (in tears) to say Ruby has been moved to the Special Care Baby Unit (at ROH). I got down there to find Amanda in a terrible state and my beautiful daughter in a ward with a lot of very very poorly babies. She (Ruby) was hooked up to a load of monitors, was on a drip (as she still wasn’t feeding) and antibiotics due to a possible infection. She was still breathing badly.
Mr Bowen from Saint Marys was contacted about her cord hernia and he said he wanted to see her (which meant her being transferred to Pendlebury) - later that day the boys came to see Amanda. I explained to them that Ruby had lots of wires coming out of her but that they weren’t hurting her but were helping. Tom was a bit scared so didn’t want to see her - Sam came and had a look. He was instantly smitted and sat stroking her face and telling anyone who would listen that he was her biggest brother.
Me and the boys came home that night (basically I wanted a bit of normality) then in the morning Amanda called me to say they were definitely moving her to Pendlebury. My mum came over to ours (to do all the washing and ironing, God bless her there was tonnes - she is a star) and to mind the boys. I went down to ROH and hung around till they got ready to move Rubes.
We got to Pendlebury late on in the evening. The unit there is very very nice and the staff were very welcoming and pleasant. They were much the same as the girls at ROH - explaining everything very well and being very reassuring and kind. Ruby was seen by a load of doctors and made comfortable.
The staff at P. offered us a room for Amanda but having had a look at it, I didnt want Amanda to stay there so we agreed she’d come home with me then we could come back in the morning.
Amanda expressed some milk just in case they wanted to try feeding Ruby via NG tube. When we got back there this morning Ruby looked a lot brighter. They had taken her off the UV lights as she was a lot less jaundiced. Amanda also had a go at feeding and Ruby latched straight on and fed very well. Amanda was thrilled at this I could tell. Up till then she just felt like she wasn’t really our baby as we hadn’t held her much or fed her or even changed a nappy.
After the top dog had a look at her hernia (which had shrunk a lot) he decided it would be daft to operate as it might well sort itself out. She hasn’t got an infection and has been taken off the drip as she is feeding ok. They transferred her back to the SCBU at ROH but she is in the family room with Amanda.
The boys and grandparents came down this evening for a look and hold. Tom got over his shyness and held Ruby. Sam remains utterly smitten. Nanna (My mum) was thrilled as was grandma and grand-dad.
When Ruby was born (4th) it would have been my mum and dads Ruby wedding (although the name was chosen even when she was going to be born on 24th) - so I guess my dad got his Ruby one way or the other. I wish he had been here to see her.
I’m trying hard to look after the boys and Amanda as well as getting down to see Rubes. I’m hoping she can come home soon as I want all my family here with me. I’m adamant the boys aren’t stopping out anymore cos, to be frank, it is shit enough Amanda and Ruby not being here, I don’t want to make it worse by being here on my own. I’m not much cop without the family here.
As to being the father of Ruby, it is a beautiful and wonderful thing. She is the prettiest girl I have ever seen and my heart breaks every time I see her. When I held her this morning for the 1st time since she was born it was indescribable. Just to touch her face and hold her hand is a joyful thing.
All I wanted to do before she was born was hold her and tell her she would be ok - this morning I did that and it was a good thing.
Before I slump off to bed I want to just say what a kind and clever and warm bunch of people they are both at the ROH and at Pendlebury. Whatever they are paid it should be a shitload more. It makes me feel fraudulent to think that Im paid the same as some of them. What they do is hold the life of my child in their hands and through their diligence and skill make her more healthy than she was. All I do is work in IT.
There are some tiny little babies on these units that are far worse off than Ruby and seeing them is hard. I really hope they are going to be ok (some of them were born at 30 weeks and I could hold them in one hand) but their mums and dads are still smiling and are coming in and spending all day every day with their babies. It has been hard enough to do this for 3 days never mind 10-12 weeks. They are good strong people.
Anyway, that will do for now.
Here endeth the lesson
Chris Doyle (Father of three