Daddys Blog

Right - it says quick but it isn’t.

Amanda gave birth to Ruby Louise Doyle at 1.10am on 4th April. Ruby weighed 6lbs 7oz. The birth was pretty traumatic for Amanda (highlights include an Epidural that didn’t work properly and whatnot). As soon as Ruby was born she was making this distressed grunting sound was wouldn’t feed. Her little chest was working overtime as she was trying to breathe properly.

So much has happened in the last three days it is all a blur. Once she was born she was put into an incubator in order to raise her temperature and to try and help with her breathing. She seemed a bit settled so at around 6am I came home for a little rest (by this point we’d both been awake for almost 2 days straight). At around 9:30am I got a call from Amanda (in tears) to say Ruby has been moved to the Special Care Baby Unit (at ROH). I got down there to find Amanda in a terrible state and my beautiful daughter in a ward with a lot of very very poorly babies. She (Ruby) was hooked up to a load of monitors, was on a drip (as she still wasn’t feeding) and antibiotics due to a possible infection. She was still breathing badly.

Mr Bowen from Saint Marys was contacted about her cord hernia and he said he wanted to see her (which meant her being transferred to Pendlebury) - later that day the boys came to see Amanda. I explained to them that Ruby had lots of wires coming out of her but that they weren’t hurting her but were helping. Tom was a bit scared so didn’t want to see her - Sam came and had a look. He was instantly smitted and sat stroking her face and telling anyone who would listen that he was her biggest brother.

Me and the boys came home that night (basically I wanted a bit of normality) then in the morning Amanda called me to say they were definitely moving her to Pendlebury. My mum came over to ours (to do all the washing and ironing, God bless her there was tonnes - she is a star) and to mind the boys. I went down to ROH and hung around till they got ready to move Rubes.

We got to Pendlebury late on in the evening. The unit there is very very nice and the staff were very welcoming and pleasant. They were much the same as the girls at ROH - explaining everything very well and being very reassuring and kind. Ruby was seen by a load of doctors and made comfortable.

The staff at P. offered us a room for Amanda but having had a look at it, I didnt want Amanda to stay there so we agreed she’d come home with me then we could come back in the morning.

Amanda expressed some milk just in case they wanted to try feeding Ruby via NG tube. When we got back there this morning Ruby looked a lot brighter. They had taken her off the UV lights as she was a lot less jaundiced. Amanda also had a go at feeding and Ruby latched straight on and fed very well. Amanda was thrilled at this I could tell. Up till then she just felt like she wasn’t really our baby as we hadn’t held her much or fed her or even changed a nappy.

After the top dog had a look at her hernia (which had shrunk a lot) he decided it would be daft to operate as it might well sort itself out. She hasn’t got an infection and has been taken off the drip as she is feeding ok. They transferred her back to the SCBU at ROH but she is in the family room with Amanda.

The boys and grandparents came down this evening for a look and hold. Tom got over his shyness and held Ruby. Sam remains utterly smitten. Nanna (My mum) was thrilled as was grandma and grand-dad.

When Ruby was born (4th) it would have been my mum and dads Ruby wedding (although the name was chosen even when she was going to be born on 24th) - so I guess my dad got his Ruby one way or the other. I wish he had been here to see her.

I’m trying hard to look after the boys and Amanda as well as getting down to see Rubes. I’m hoping she can come home soon as I want all my family here with me. I’m adamant the boys aren’t stopping out anymore cos, to be frank, it is shit enough Amanda and Ruby not being here, I don’t want to make it worse by being here on my own. I’m not much cop without the family here.

As to being the father of Ruby, it is a beautiful and wonderful thing. She is the prettiest girl I have ever seen and my heart breaks every time I see her. When I held her this morning for the 1st time since she was born it was indescribable. Just to touch her face and hold her hand is a joyful thing.

All I wanted to do before she was born was hold her and tell her she would be ok - this morning I did that and it was a good thing.

Before I slump off to bed I want to just say what a kind and clever and warm bunch of people they are both at the ROH and at Pendlebury. Whatever they are paid it should be a shitload more. It makes me feel fraudulent to think that Im paid the same as some of them. What they do is hold the life of my child in their hands and through their diligence and skill make her more healthy than she was. All I do is work in IT.

There are some tiny little babies on these units that are far worse off than Ruby and seeing them is hard. I really hope they are going to be ok (some of them were born at 30 weeks and I could hold them in one hand) but their mums and dads are still smiling and are coming in and spending all day every day with their babies. It has been hard enough to do this for 3 days never mind 10-12 weeks. They are good strong people.

Anyway, that will do for now.
Here endeth the lesson
Chris Doyle (Father of three )

Anyone alive in the 80’s should get that title. Anyhoo, after all the talk about waiting to be induced at 40 weeks, guess whose bloody waters broke at 3 in the morning?

I’d nodded off on the settee watching a film so after a good 5 to 10 minutes of Amanda shaking me and saying “My waters have broken” and me nodding, pausing then saying “What?” then repeating the whole thing about 25 times it all became clear.

We headed off to Oldham Maternity and they hooked Amanda up to a monitor. At about 6 they had a bed ready for her and packed me off home.

I came home had an hours kip then went back down. Despite the waters breaking, nothing is moving. However, because the waters have broken and this increases the risk of infection they are keeping Amanda in.

We saw the Doc and agreed a plan - Amanda will be put on an Anitbiotic drip tomorrow at 8AM (to combat possible infection) and will have a pessary to get things going. If nothing happens after about 4-5 hours, they will move her to the delivery suite and put her on a drip which brings it all on.

So……hopefully Ruby will be here by tomorrow night.

The best things in life are worth waiting for.

Word.
Chris

….or as the boys are now calling her - The Rubster.

Having had some conflicting information on what is happening (i.e. the Paed surgeon at St Marys wanting her to be born there and the baby unit in the same place saying she can be born at Oldham) we have had 2 scans in 4 days and now know the definitive score.

1. She definitely does not have a diaphragmattic hernia. This is wonderful news as it was potentially very serious (it impedes development of the lungs etc etc) - because this was seen on one scan, the paed surgeon wanted her to be born there. Following a detailed scan at the baby unit at St Marys they have said she 100% sure doesn’t have one.

2. Due to this, Ruby is definitely going to be born at 40 weeks at the Royal Oldham. Ruby is a big baby and so they are going to induce Amanda at 40 weeks (following ANOTHER scan at 39 weeks) - they don’t want a huge baby particularly with the fact in point 3. By the way the boys came along for this scan and were pretty amazed. Sam had the biggest grin I have ever seen - I thought the top of his head would fall off. He saw her heart beating and saw her head chest and legs (its a bit cramped in there).

3. Ruby *may* still have a cord hernia but this isn’t a biggie. When she is born a surgeon will be there to assess whether they can sort the hernia (if its there) at the ROH or whether she needs transferring to St Marys.

That is about it. Sam and Tom are very excited - it is only about 3 weeks to go no matter how you look at it.

…. Just three weeks and I will have a daughter. A daughter I can finally have hold of and make sure she is ok. The worst thing about all of this is the fact that by knowing her sex and giving her a name, she became a real person in my eyes and not just “the baby” - I love her already and am fairly desperate to see her and then look after her.

I swore having another wouldn’t be different but it will. I’m going to spoil her rotten.

My dad died on the 14th January. On the right is a link to what I read at his funeral.

We met the surgeon and his team and had a tour of the Neonatal Surgical unit. The surgeon explained that Ruby will need a little operation when she is born to rectify the cord hernia and if that is all they need to do she could be home a week after that.

He did say that due to the fact that one of the scans looked like there might be a hole in the diaphragm, he will want to check Ruby out as soon as she is born and do X-rays and tests etc to 100% rule that out (even though a later scan showed it was all ok). I think the fact that it was mentioned means he is being doubly cautious.

I asked if the two were connected, i.e. does having one pre-dispose you to the other but he said no - it just looks like bad luck if she has both.

She will be induced at 37 weeks-ish and it will all happen at Saint Marys - we will still be going to the Royal Oldham for the next couple of scans though - 30 and 34 weeks.

Thats all for now
Chris

We’re off to Saint Marys tomorrow (Tuesday 8th) to meet the paediatric surgeons to have a chat about what might happen once Ruby is born. I will put a post on saying how it goes tomorrow afternoon.

The boys went out with my brother (Mark) to the cinema yesterday to see the Bee movie (I think that is what it is called) and had a great time.

Sam (the eldest) gets up each morning on the stroke of seven (regardless of when he went to bed) every morning….. until today (first day back at school) when he had to be dragged out. Sods law int it.
pip pip
Chris

… to one and all. We’re going for a scan at 30 weeks and 34 weeks (growth scans) and there is still some debate over whether Ruby will be born at Saint Marys or Oldham. I would prefer Saint Marys (only because they are experts at unusual births and also because we’ve only had good news from there and everything thus far from Oldham hasn’t been so good)

New Year passed uneventfully for us - I woke Amanda at midnight to see the New Year in (she had previously fallen asleep at about 10pm). We woke the boys as promised so they could watch the fireworks but they were too tired and so dived back in bed.

Then we went shopping for some baby stuff. We got a nice swing-cum-chair for Ruby and also have acquired the Best baby-gro. It says “I love my daddy” which is rather nice. I’ll take a snap and post it tomorrow because, quite honestly, I’m quite taken with it.

Resolutions:
1. Lose a stone.
2. Stop drinking (at home)
3. Exercise.
4. Be a better dad and husband.
5. Get a career (everyone seems to have one but me)
6. Get in the Guiness book of Records.

Wotwot
Laird Doyle

Happy Happy Days! Saint Marys have just rung Amanda to let her know that ALL the Amnio results are back and that they are all clear. This means Ruby will be fine (other than the cord hernia).

Great news for the New year isn’t it…

O and by the way Christmas went very well - the boys got tonnes of presents all of which we have played half to death. Lots of Wii games too.

Hiho. We went to Saint Marys this morning and had some good good news. We had another scan which confirmed that there is nothing wrong with Rubys diaphragm and stomach. Happy days! She still has her hernia but that can be treated when she is born.

They are going to see if the Paediatric surgeons want to see us before she is born but it isn’t anything too alarming to worry about. She is getting everything she needs from the umbilical cord.

The consultant at Saint Marys (a very nice lady) and her team (also nice ladies) confirmed that the amnio results were very good and mean that Ruby doesn’t have any of the big bad problems associated with umbilical hernias - we still await the other results but the guys at Saint Marys didn’t seem too concerned about them as they were more worried about the results we have already had.

 So……. Happy days.
Merry Christmas to all.

Love
Laird Doyle

You can see the legs right over the top of her body. Been a long time since I could do that!